21 Questions Swinger Couples Can Ask Each Other That Vanilla Couples Can’t

The longer you are in a relationship, the more boring the conversations tend to get. This does not mean that you love your partner any less, it just means that after a while, you will inevitably run out of fun spicy things to talk about. Unless you are a swinging couple. Swingers get to have the type of conversations a vanilla couple can only dream about and pray they do not say them out loud in their sleep otherwise somebody will be sleeping on the couch. If you are a vanilla couple reading this blog, here are 20 questions swinger couples get to ask each other that you probably can never ask your partner.

1. Would you like to fuck her?

2. Would you like to fuck him?

3. Did you see her ass?

4. Babe, did you pack condoms?

5. Did you enjoy him fucking you?

6. Did you enjoy fucking her?

7. Can I fuck your best friend?

8. That’s a sexy couple do you think we can fuck them?

9. Did he make you cum?

10. Are we going out this weekend, should I shave?

11. Do you think we will get lucky tonight?

12. Do you want to drop the kids at grandma’s this weekend and have an orgy party?

13. Did you pack your strap-on?

14. Can my boy-toy come over tonight?

15. Do you think they know we are swingers?

16. Which bondage outfit should I wear?

17. Or which dress shows off my boobs more?

18. Is this outfit sexy enough?

19. Did you enjoy kissing her?

20. Who were you thinking of while I was fucking you last night?

21. Will you take one for the team?

5 Great Relationship Benefits Couples Gain From Swinging

While the swinging lifestyle may not work for every relationship, those who are fortunate enough to have tried swinging and it has worked for them, get to enjoy some amazing relationship benefits that come from being a part of the swinging lifestyle. Contrary to what the non-lifestyle community may believe, many swinger couples seems to enjoy healthier stronger relationships that their vanilla peers. Aside from having sex with multiple people, there are some other great benefits of being in a swinging relationship. Here are five of those benefits.

1. Constant And Open Communication

A couple that survives being in the swinging lifestyle is a couple that has learnt to successfully maintain constant and open communication with each other. This is especially so in the early stages of open relationship exploration. Every day new situations will occur that continually challenges your relationship, and the only way you will survive them is by talking them through with your partner. Communication provides security and assurance, and once you have mastered the art, it becomes a very useful tool that helps other areas of your relationship.

2. Higher Level Of Intimacy

After the first three years of a relationship, the level of intimacy between partners is said to reduced by over fifty percent. That statistic does not apply to couples in the swinging community. The reason this happens to regular vanilla couples is that their natural sexual desires are suppressed for so long, those desires eventually die to the point where getting stimulated becomes a chore. Sex is always at the forefront of a swinging relationship. Swingers get to share and live out their fantasy with their partners, keeping them constantly stimulated sexually, which helps to promote a higher level of intimacy with each other.

3. A Great Social Life

Our friend’s from Playboy Radio Mike and Holli said it best, “You come for the sex; you stay for the relationships.” It is called the “Lifestyle Community” for a reason. Many swinger couples have made their best life long friends since becoming a part of the lifestyle community. You will find that once you become a swinger, and you have gotten to meet a good group of people in the lifestyle, it is much harder to continue hanging out with your vanilla friends. It’s so much more fun and easier to spend time with your swinger friends, because you can be more open and honest about who you truly are with your swinger friends, without worrying about being judged.

4. Increased Self Confidence

We tend to be too hard on ourselves especially when it comes to how we appear physically, and sometimes just hearing that you look great from your spouse alone isn’t enough. One of the most amazing things about being in the swinging community is that you get to hear from others how beautiful and sexy you are, which inevitably helps to boost your self-confidence. Everyone loves to feel desired, and that is something you will get a lot of being a swinger. This fact is especially noticeable amongst the females in the swinging community. After they get past the newbie phase and they have rekindled their sexuality, you get to witness a whole new person being born. It’s amazing how much more attractive a little bit of self-confidence can make you look.

5. Restored Youthfulness

When you stop having fun in life, the only thing left to do is get old. Having fun is the ultimate fountain of youth, and swingers get to have a good time. So many people live their lives talking about how much fun they had in their twenties, or in college when they had the freedom to explore the world as the pleased. Swinger couples do not need always to live in the past because they get to recreate those fun moments every weekend if they so desire. This type of spontaneity and adventure that swingers get to enjoy keeps them looking and feeling younger for longer, something every adult in this world covets.

Become a swinger does not provide all the answers to a couple’s problems. As a matter of fact, if a couple is having problems with their relationship, swinging is definitely not the answer. However, for those who are open and brave enough to enter and survive the swinging lifestyle, they get to enjoy some great relationship benefits that many vanilla couples can only dream about.



Swinging VS Polyamory: How Are They Different?

Many people confuse Swinging relationships and Polyamorous relationships for one and the same. This is particularly the case amongst those who are new or not a part of the lifestyle community. Yes, there are similarities in the fact that both swingers and polyamorous couples practice sex with multiple partners, but that’s the closest they get regarding how both behaviours are similar.

Let’s look at the definition of both terms according to the dictionary:


The philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.


Slang. An individual who engages in the exchanging of spouses for sexual activities

The difference is pretty obvious based on the definitions, but we can take a closer look at how the behaviours and thought process between the two are different.

Swinging Is To Sex as Poly Is To Relationships

This is the fundamental distinction between the two. Swinging connections are based on sex as recreation. Typically, friendship is the deepest emotional attachment, and it may not even be a necessary component. In polyamorous relationships, deep and meaningful connections or what we would call “love” exist between multiple people and sex is almost always enjoyed in the same way as if in a monogamous, one-on-one relationship. Falling in love with more than one person is non-threatening to these relationships. Conversely, falling in love would be considered threatening in most core couples that are in the swing lifestyle.

Swinging Is To Discretion as Poly is to Openness

More often than not, swinging is treated as something best conducted “behind closed doors” or, in other words, with discretion and respect for all partners privacy. Social stigma is a significant factor for most swingers who often do not want to disclose to “vanilla” friends, family, co-workers, employers, etc. due to often conservative, negative judgments surrounding their lifestyle choice. Their events and interactions are usually arranged by other swinging couples or attended at private membership clubs, conventions or in other swinger friendly environments. Polyamorous people are usually in long-term relationships and seek to be as “out” as they possibly can be, to honour the connection between those that they love. Their partners usually spend time with them as they would if in a “traditional” relationship.

Monogamy vs. Non-monogamy

Though swinger couples are open sexually with multiple partners, on an emotional level, swingers are still monogamous. Love is only reserved for the core relationship, and falling in love outside with anyone else outside of your primary partner would still be considered as cheating. Successful swinging relationships are non-threatening to the couple’s emotional relationships. In a polyamorous relationship, there is no such thing as a “core partner” or core relationship. Instead, each relationship is viewed as an individual coupling with none being more significant than the other.

It is very normal to find polyamorous couples that still swing, and swingers who are also open to mutually exclusive relationships. Some simply do not worry about terminologies and simply go with whatever works for their relationship. However, the two practices, though with many commonalities are still quite different.

Is Swinging The New Fountain Of Youth?

Getting old is an inevitable fate that we all have to someday deal with. As much as man tries to defy nature, this cycle is what keeps the world going and it will never change. However, it has been proven time and time again that even though we cannot stop the ageing process, we can alter the way in which we age. The single biggest determining factor when it comes to individual ages, is that person’s lifestyle habits and attitude. Not exercising, eating bad food, smoking….. What about monogamous relationships? Could being sexually restricted for the rest of your life contribute to the acceleration of the ageing process?

For the average person, their glory days of being physically attractive go back to the years that they were single and living spontaneously. When you are out in the world to have fun and seek attraction from others, you naturally tend to take very special care in the way you carry yourself and your general health. It’s not just the physical, attitude has a lot to do with how a person ages. So how exactly would a monogamous relationship contribute to you ageing faster? Well, take a look at ten people you knew when they were single, that have been now married for over 7 years. How are they now, compared to those days? Physically, if they use to be, are they still as diligent about taking care of their bodies? Are they still as fun? The answer six out of ten times will probably be no to both questions. When a relationship is without adventure and excitement, it is human nature that those involved will stop caring. When each day brings the same thing as the day before, you stop living and pretty much all you are doing is going through the motions and waiting to die. This is the mindset that kick starts your days of “getting old.”

So how is this different if you are a swinger?

When you are in a swinging relationship, the very things that kept your interest in looking and feeling good, the very things that had you excited about life and having fun, those things are present in that relationship. Swinger couples, like singles, do not have the restrictions of the average monogamous couple. Swingers get to go out on weekends, party, express their attraction to others other than their spouses, explore fantasies and all things involved in keeping your levels of oxytocin higher than the average. It’s these types of feel good moments that encourage a person to continue taking care of their physical health and well-being, and continue to provide the affirmation you need to maintain a positive outlook on life. The ideal recipe for the restoration and preservation of youthfulness. If you attend a swingers party, you will notice that females in the swinging lifestyle in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, look and act ten to fifteen years younger than their vanilla peers. Like monogamous couples, swingers spend their normal weekdays taking care of family and business, which can be equally as stressful for all. The difference is, swinger couples have the weekends or vacations to look forward to, where there are no restrictions as to how much they are able to express themselves, both in body and spirit.

Human beings live for the future, and not the present. However, when the future looks a lot like the not so exciting present, giving up seems like the next best thing. Being in an open relationship creates a future that holds adventure and excitement in abundance. For this reason, swinger couples work hard to stay sexy and healthy and always have a positive outlook on life, keeping us younger for

100 Signs You Are A Swinger

  1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.
  2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.
  3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.
  4. Your annual vacations are always to Jamaica.
  5. You know most of your friends’ names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you don’t know their last names.
  6. You go to a convention with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as you did when you left.
  7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.
  8. You position the computer screen in your home office in such a way that your children can’t possibly sneak up on you.
  9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.
  10. Before travelling somewhere on business or to visit relatives you look up couples in the area.
  11. You worry about explaining to the neighbours why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying overnight bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon…
  12. You never open your garage door until you’re in the car with the doors closed.
  13. Your gynaecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.
  14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.
  15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.
  16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”
  17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.
  18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.
  19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.
  20. You’ve hugged your friend’s goodnight while naked.
  21. You hear the word “Playmate”, and your first thought is not “Playboy.”
  22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.
  23. You carry lube as often as lipstick.
  24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.
  25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party.
  26. The term Vanilla isn’t just a flavour to you anymore.
  27. You have a full-length mirror in your bedroom… On your ceiling.
  28. You are constantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends’ houses.
  29. You don’t think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels and fishnets when there are three feet of snow on the ground.
  30. Your wedding reception has an after party.
  31. You go to Las Vegas, but never gamble or leave the hotel.
  32. You panic when your friend’s digital camera goes missing.
  33. You’ve invited friends over and watched porn.
  34. You’ve invited friends over and made porn.
  35. You’ve watched someone do a tequila shot off of your wife’s bare ass.
  36. Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.
  37. You wake up in the morning and find that half of the cloths on the floor don’t fit you or your wife.
  38. Your kids think it’s normal for adults to have sleepovers.
  39. A hot tub is considered a necessity, not a luxury.
  40. You believe in Unicorns… Because you’ve actually ridden one.
  41. You leave the kids at home when you go to the toy store.
  42. You’ve taken photos of yourself with your head out of frame, And it was on purpose.
  43. You can’t decide which of your three naughty schoolgirl outfits you should wear this weekend.
  44. You always keep a supply of condoms, lube and clean hand towels by your bed… And your guest bed… And your couch in the living room.
  45. The employees fight to take your order at the One Hour Photo.
  46. You frequently use the term “Friends of friends” when explaining how you know certain people.
  47. You know which of your outfits looks best under a black light.
  48. You have an entire closet devoted just to themed outfits.
  49. You place a want ad that reads: “Wanted: Reliable babysitter who is willing to stay till sunrise and doesn’t ask any questions.”
  50. You ask the sales man at the furniture store which type of upholstery best repels semen stains.
  51. The staff of Hedonism sends you birthday cards/emails or Facebook shout outs.
  52. You come home with that, “There’s Something About Mary” hairstyle.
  53. The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.
  54. In the gym shower, you’re the only guy with shaved balls.
  55. You know the most flattering angle at which to photograph your genitals.
  56. Half of your vacation photos were taken in your hotel room.
  57. You have a free place to stay in almost all the fifty states and several cities in Europe.
  58. You’ve closed your e-mails with “Bi Bi”.
  59. You can expertly identify the tactile differences between every type of breast implant ever created.
  60. On Christmas, certain presents can’t be opened in front of your family.
  61. You know exactly which of your friends are allergic to latex.
  62. Your vanilla friends ask why they are never invited to your parties.
  63. The movie “Swingers” was a huge disappointment to you.
  64. It’s an unwritten law that you can’t call any of your friends on Saturday or Sunday until at least 3 p.m. so you don’t wake them up.
  65. You’ve become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.
  66. At your “normal” parties no one can go into the basement because you’re afraid someone will notice the sex-swing.
  67. You’re constantly afraid that visiting relatives will pop-in one of your home videos that you forgot to hide.
  68. You make bets with other swinger friends about how long it will take to corrupt your cute vanilla girlfriend.
  69. You’re in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your screen name.
  70. Before introducing them to your visiting family, you pull your friends aside and say, “OK, here’s how we know each other…”
  71. You start having withdrawals after two days without Internet access.
  72. When someone asks where you’re staying on your trip to Cancun, you pretend that you can’t remember the name of the resort.
  73. You ask a girlfriend to teach you: “That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much.”
  74. In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the restroom.
  75. You are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.
  76. You come back from vacation and you have a tan, but no tan lines.
  77. The first thing you do checking into a hotel is to ask for a lot of extra towels.
  78. All the men bring their wives to your bachelor party.
  79. Making it an early night means getting home before 3 a.m.
  80. You’ve handed out business cards to people, but the cards have nothing to do with your occupation.
  81. Your sexual fantasies never last very long… Because they keep coming true!
  82. You are hanging around vanilla friends, and you absentmindedly squeeze their butts.
  83. You erase your computer’s browser history and cache every time you leave your office.
  84. You buy lap dances for your wife… And vice versa.
  85. You own a double-headed dildo.
  86. You’re still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.
  87. You’re at the market, and the only things in your basket are condoms, breath mints and Red Bull.
  88. On vacation, you set aside time to stage a bunch of photos that are acceptable to show to your family.
  89. After 25 years, people still ask if you’re newlyweds.
  90. You’ve had sex with more people since you’ve been married than you did when you were single.
  91. Going to vanilla bars ranks right up there with a root canal.
  92. The only time you go out with your vanilla friends is when you’re on your period.
  93. Your husband has lipstick on his collar, and he smells like another woman’s perfume, and it brings a smile to your face.
  94. On Monday morning you are glad to go back to work so you can get some rest.
  95. You spend the whole week before your parents arrive calling all you friends telling them not to call your answering machine while your parents are in town.
  96. You get really tired of not making it to McDonald’s before they quit serving breakfast Sunday morning (on your way home).
  97. You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.
  98. Your spouse is having an orgasm, while you are busy in the other room discussing the stock market.
  99. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume.
  100. If you are reading this and laughing because many of these describe you…

That’s a pretty good sign that you are a swinger!

Abbreviations Swingers Use And Their Meanings

The swinging lifestyle has it’s own dictionary, and terminologies that you probably won’t hear anywhere else. A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about some of the words and phrases used only in the swinging community. This blog is about the different abbreviations used in the swinging lifestyle and their meanings. You will mostly see these abbreviations on swingers’ social sites on couples profiles, or anywhere where a couple or single create a profile describing their interest. I would like to think I am very versed at this, but I am sure there are a lot more than I know, but I will do my best at trying to cover the most popular ones. So here we go.

MFMF – This abbreviation typically means Male Female, Man Woman. This is generally used when a couple is only looking for other couples

MMF – Male, Male, Female. Referencing a threesome with two males and a female

FFM – Female, Female Male. Referencing a threesome with two females and one male

HWP – Height Weight Proportion. Use usually in cases when couples want to be specific about the type of physical appearance they are attracted to.

CPL – Couple

BBC – Big Black Cock. Self-explanatory

BBW – Big Beautiful Women. Used to reference plus size women.

LS – This is short for the word “Lifestyle.”

BYOB – Bring Your Own Booze. Not exclusive to the lifestyle community but very commonly used by party organisers and clubs.

BiF – Bisexual Female

BiM – Bisexual Male

BiFM – Referring to a couple where both the male and female are bisexual

DDF – Drub and Disease Free.

BDSM – Bondage Dominance Sadism Masochism

NUMP – No Ugly Men Please

DP – Double Penetration. Generally Referencing to one dick in the ass and one in the vagina

DVP – Double Vaginal Penetration. Referencing two dicks in the vagina at the same time

IRC – Interracial Couple

MILF – Mother I’d Like To Fuck

NSA – No Strings Attached

MBA – Married But Available

ISO – In Search Of/ Insignificant Other

I am sure there are several more. Trying to remember all these abbreviations could drive you crazy. It’s like high school all over again. There are some that you will hear very often. I have tried to put all the most commonly used ones in this article for your reference. If you have some you wish to share, please let us know about them by leaving a comment below.



Swingers’ FAQ: 12 Questions Swingers Ask Other Swingers

If you are a newbie going to a swingers club or a meet-up for the first time, you may be wondering what type of questions the other couples that you meet will ask you. Regardless of what you end up talking about with that couple you meet, you can expect to get asked at least a few of these questions.

1. What are you into?

The question one couple ask another when they want to find out what type of experience they are looking for with another couple.

2. How long have you been in the lifestyle?

This question is important to help another couple understand how experienced another couple is in the lifestyle.

3. Have you had any experiences with another couple?

This question is usually reserved for newbies. Experienced swinger couples take a lot of pride in being the first experience for a newbie couple.

4. Are you guys playing tonight?

“Play” is the term used to describe the act of having sex in the swinging community. A couple asking you if you are playing tonight is a subtle way of asking you to hook up with them.

5. Are you coming back to the playroom?

The playroom is the section of a swingers club reserved for couples to have sex.

6. Do you guys want to play?

A lot of couples are very direct about there intentions. Don’t get thrown off by this. Most lifestyle couples are unattached emotionally to whether you say yes or no.

7. Do you guys play separately?

A lot of couples in the swinging lifestyle are ok with their partners hooking up with someone else without them being present. If you are not one of those couples, a simple “no” will do.

8. Is your wife bi-friendly?

Bi-friendly is the term used to describe a female who is comfortable with sexual situations between her and another female. That makes up about 65% of all the females in the lifestyle community.

9. What are your rules?

All swinger couples have rules. Some more than others. It’s common courtesy for a couple to ask another couple what their rules and restrictions are before getting into any sexual situations with that couple.

10. Your boobs look great. Can I touch them?

Despite what most may believe, people just don’t want around and randomly grope each other at swingers events. Yes, there is touching, but most people ask politely first. That request to touch usually comes after a nice compliment. Touching is used as a form of icebreaker and also helps to gauge how interested a couple may be in hooking up. They are also very OK with you saying “no thank you”.

11. What social sites are you on?

Most swinger couples are members on one or more lifestyle social sites. Swingers use these sites to meet other local swingers, stay connected with friends they make on swinger vacations, and find out what events are happening locally.

12. What’s your screen name?

This is the follow-up question to the one above. This question is normally referring to the screen name or username you use on your lifestyle social site.

Funny Video: Shit Only Swingers Say

If you were a fly on the wall in room filled with a group of swingers, apart from being really horny from all the sex, you would also be totally entertained by the way they speak. Everything the regular world considers lude and vulgar, for swingers it’s normal conversation. The rest of the world may be shocked, but for those of you that have been in the swinging lifestyle for a while, you will find this video absolutely hilarious.

10 Clues Your Neighbours Are Swingers!

If you are a new couple looking to get involved in the swinging lifestyle, one of the first questions you might ask is, “Where do I find other swinger couples?” If you do not know where to look, that might be your most challenging task as a newbie. How about in your neighbourhood! You may never know. After all, swinger couples do not exactly walk around with a label on their forehead saying “SWINGERS”, but there might be a few clues you can look out for that will identify them as such.

Here is my list of top 10 clues that may indicate your neighbours are swingers.

1. All their friends are couples, and when talking about them, they reference them by using both the name of the male and the female. So if your neighbours keep telling you stories of their friends “Bob and Mary” they might be swingers.

2. They regularly attend costume parties, even months away from Halloween.

3. They only go out partying on Friday and Saturday nights, and they do it regularly.

4. They have never volunteered the details of the club(s) they frequently attend.

5. The wife wears a coat over her dress when she is leaving the house to go out, even during the summer.

6. When they have parties at their house, all their guests are couples that show up without their kids and some may be carrying what look like overnight bags.

7. All the couples they hang out with, the wives have had their boobs done.

8. They go on Vacations or weekend getaways often, and they do not have a lot of pictures to share.

9. They are happier and more youthful than all the other neighbours on your street.

10. Depending on your overall appearance, they may have openly flirted with you once or twice.