The “almost always” situation when it comes to a couple exploring open relationships, is that one partner likes the idea more than the other. If you are that partner, even if your intentions are 100% selfless, there seems to be no easy way to drop this bomb on your spouse without it turning into a big argument. Your partner may surprise you and be more receptive to the idea than you thought, but let’s face it, there is also the potential for disaster. So how exactly do you bring up the topic of swinging or open relationship with your partner without major conflict? Here are five icebreaker strategies you can use.
1. Watch A Porn Together
The great thing about porn is that you can find a scene to mirror the exact situation that you are fantasising about. Threesomes, girl-girl, orgies, whatever it may be, it’s the perfect way to introduce your fantasy to your partner and gauge interest. While you are watching with your spouse, ask questions when you see something you like. Questions like “Honey, do you find that sexy?” Be sure to not just point out situations that would be pleasurable for you, but something that would be just about pleasing your partner.
2. Go To A Strip Club
Another way to gauge how open-minded your partner is is by going for a fun night out to a local strip club. Buy your partner a lap dance and give him/her the freedom to enjoy. Communicate to let your partner know that you are enjoying them being naughty.
3. Truth or Dare
Truth or Dare was my favourite game in high school. This game always opens up doors of opportunities, to sneak a kiss or squeeze from that hot person you have had a crush on. By playing truth or dare with your partner, you can ask bold questions that you may never have ask in a normal situation. Ask questions about your partner’s fantasies, and be sure to re-assure them that you are comfortable with any answer they give. Be careful not to add too much pressure, but you can encourage them to go outside their comfort zone.
4. Share A Story
Do you know any couples that are swingers that both you and your partner know? If you do, talk about them in a random conversation, in a way to trigger a reaction from your spouse. You can say something like, “Honey, do you know that Mary and Dave are swingers?” Wait for an answer, and then when the answer is given, use the opportunity to share your honest opinion. At first, your partner may not be in agreement, but this may change after you give your opinion on the topic. Most times people just need permission to be totally honest.
5. Visit A Swingers Club
This may be the boldest of all the moves. But it’s the best way to erase any negative perception that your partner may have about the swinging lifestyle. You have to be ingenious about how you bring up this idea. You could use a line like this; “Babe, do you know that they have these clubs where couples go to meet other couples? I wonder what happens at those places? We should go check it out for fun.” A bold suggestion like this will give you an honest perspective on where your partner is at regarding mindset towards the swinging lifestyle, without causing the potential of a big argument if they are not in agreement.
It’s important to mention that you should never force the idea on your spouse if they are not at all interested. If it does not work for both, it will not work at all. Always be honest about your fantasies. Your partner may be more open than you think.