New studies have found that one in five Americans have participated in an open sexual relationship. With those odds, there’s a good chance your neighbor, your colleague, even your babysitter have all dipped their toes in the polyamorous lifestyle. This shift in romantic expectations is an encouraging indication that alternative relationships may just become the new normal in dating.
So, where do these open-minded people live? Today, OpenMinded.com reveals that California has the highest concentration of people engaging in open relationships. And more specifically, Indian Wells, California is the number one city in America (per capita) for people actively seeking open relationships. Were these results surprising to you?
OpenMinded analyzed all 105,600 U.S. member profiles and found that 14.06% percent lived in California. This state far outshined the rest of the U.S., as New York came in second place with 9.56%, and Texas in third with 7.36%.
Check out the infographic below to see where your state ranked!
If you are new to the swinging lifestyle and looking to meet other swingers, there are a variety of things you can do and places you can go to achieve this. Among the list and probably the most exciting, is going on a vacation to an exotic tropical destination where you get to party with other swinger couples for a full week or two if you are lucky. Swingers’ vacation is not just a thing, it’s a real business and according to Forbes Magazine, in 2016, what is known as “Libertine” travel, grossed over 20 Billion dollars. If exploring this part of the lifestyle community interests you, here are the top 5 places you can go for an amazing Swinger Vacation experience.
If there is a Godfather or a forefather of lifestyle vacations, then Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica takes that title. Hedonism II has been around since 1975 and in the 1980”s the concept of lifestyle vacations pretty much started here. This all-inclusive resort located on one of the most beautiful beaches in the Caribbean, offers couples and singles an opportunity to party in paradise for a week or weekend while mingling with hundreds of open-minded couples from all over the world. Hedonism is famous for its incredible nightly shows, late night hot-tub parties and sexy afternoon entertainment at the notorious nude pool. Each week, their is a new swinger group at Hedonism II, hosting incredible parties and other fun activities.
If you want to just jump right in the deep-end, head first, then get yourself on one of the Bliss Cruises. These are massive couples only cruise ship take-overs with between 1500 to 2000 couples. These cruises happen once or twice per year and swinger couples of all ages, nationality and racial background flock this event to experience what is now known as the world’s largest overwater naked party. Attending a Bliss Cruise is an incredible way to see the world while getting to live out your fantasy of partying on vacation with a large group of swinger couples
Desire Riviera May is couples only clothing optional boutique style hotel located in Cancun Mexico. Desire is perfect for couples looking for a laid back luxury vacation experience, while getting the opportunity meet other swinger couples. The atmosphere at Desire is pretty low key during the day, but during the night time the club is normally popping and it also has an adjoining playroom if the action gets heated and you don’t want to go all the way back to the room. My favourite spot at Desire Riviera Maya is the rooftop hot-tub lounge where most people hangout in the late afternoons and after the nightclub at nights.
Naughty In N’Awlins is the swinger’s community version of Mardi Gras. Every summer, swinger couples from all over, make their way to the world famous Bourbon Street in New Orleans Louisiana, to participate in a 5-day Swingers’ Convention that includes a Mardi Gras Parade down Bourbon Street that normally creates quite the spectacle. This event has been around for quite sometime and has a solid reputation of being one of the most well-organized events available to swingers.
Temptation Resort is a topless adult only hotel in Cancun Mexico, though not particularly known as an ideal swingers’ resort, they do get a large number of swinger couples there each week. Temptation has also been recently renovated, and now features some of the sexiest rooms and resort amenities that you will ever find at any resort. This resort is ideal for newbie couples that are still trying to feel things out in the lifestyle and would prefer to be in an environment with low pressure but still sexy and a lot of fun.
One of your first steps towards venturing into the swinging lifestyle may be checking out a local swingers club. Swingers clubs are a great place to test the waters, as there is usually little pressure for you to participate in anything, and you can just stand back and observe until you find your comfort zone. Just as swingers club can help you have a good first experience, it can also be the very reason you run away from the swinging lifestyle. We are not going to say any of the swingers’ clubs are bad. We will simply say every club is different and what you see and experience at a particular club can create a perception of the swinging community that you may or may not like.
So before you venture into your first swingers club experience, it is important that you know exactly how to pick a club that will suit your particular interest. Here are some of the key factors that you may want to consider when looking for a club.
1. The Average Age Of The Members
One of the biggest factors in having success at any swinger’s event is being amongst a group of people that is within your age range. If you are a younger couple, in your 20’s or 30’, you may not enjoy the experience at a club that caters mainly to couples over 50. The reverse applies if you an older couple. Your best experience may not be at a club that caters mostly to a younger age demographics. There are ways in which you can go about getting a general idea of the age range of the members of a particular club. One such way is by contacting the owner or manager of the club and asking this question before visiting the club. You should also ask where you could join a guest list to see those who are attending the club. Most club owners post their special events on all local swingers dating sites, and through those sites, you can view the profiles of those who are registered for events at this club.
2. How Members Carry Themselves
One factor that may even be greater than the age of the crowd is the general appearance and behaviour of the members. Does this club set a standard regarding how their members dress and behave, or are they just about the money and do not take particular interest in setting out proper members guidelines and expectations? By visiting the website of the club you are considering, you can get an idea into how much effort they put into ensuring a high standard of behaviour and appearance is kept amongst their members. Their website should include pages with proper rules and guidelines, along with a screening process to ensure the members uphold these rules.
3. The Setting
This one is imperative. I have personally attended many swingers clubs throughout North America, and only a select few take the time and investment required to create an upscale venue with proper amenities that would make you not miss going to a regular downtown bar. Some venues have been downright scary, tucked away in old industrial or deserted buildings in the middle of nowhere, with very little invested in upgrading the facilities. The good news is, in almost every major city you will find at least one club that offers a high-end experience that rivals any of the top clubs in your area. If this is something that is important to you, take the time to do your research about the club before you attend. Join forums on local swingers dating sites, or even Facebook groups (yes there are swinger groups on Facebook. Thousands of them) and ask for feedback from those who have attended or know of the club. Also, check to ensure that there are proper and up-to-date pictures of this club on the club’s website.
4. General Attendance
Most of the top swinger’s clubs in any city, averages anywhere between, 160 to 300 people on an average Saturday night and about 40% less on a Friday night. On nights where there is a special event, such as Halloween, or New Year’s Eve, these clubs will see the attendance of up to 50% more than their regular averages. However, this only represents the top lifestyle venues. A lot of swingers clubs are set in smaller venues and for those venues, a night of 30 to 40 couples is a lot. This comes down to your personal preference. Are you interest in a bigger venue with a more party atmosphere similar to a mainstream nightclub, or are you looking for smaller more intimate settings? From my personal experience, the quality of the people has always been more important than the number of people at any lifestyle event. However, greater numbers bring increased opportunities, so it will definitely come down to your personal taste.
5. The Cost Of Membership
You will find that general admission to get into most swingers club is more expensive than getting into your average mainstream nightclub. This is particularly true in the U.S, as most swinger’s club are B.Y.O.B (Bring Your Own Booze), so club owners try to make up revenues lost from the sale of alcohol by charging higher entrance fees. In Canada, the rules are different, so a lot of Canadian Swinger’s clubs have full bars attached, so therefore entrance fee is a little cheaper. First time members pay more because of the annual membership fees each club charges. The legalities behind operating a swingers club require for such, but I will not go into the details of that in this article, just expect that for your first visit, you will be asked to pay a one-time membership fee in addition to your general nightly admission. I have been to clubs where that translates to about $120 for a couple, just to get in. This may or may not be a factor for you, but something to consider in your planning. If you are a single female, a lot of clubs offer special incentives for females so your cost may be significantly less, sometimes nothing at all. Single males may be charged a premium if single men are indeed allowed. Make sure you are aware of the applicable fees before showing up at any club for the first time.
You will find that visiting any swingers club will most likely prove to be a refreshing and liberating, unlike anything you would have ever experienced at a regular club. Finding a club that is suits your needs will make that experience even greater. Your first time for anything is a big deal. Take the time to do the necessary research to make sure your first swinger club experience is one that is worthy of repeating.
I received a text to ask to pick up the kids. I was heading that way anyway so was happy to help. He texted back something funny which I found quite random and funny. This reserved dood was actually quite entertaining. A side I wanted to see a bit more of.
He text me again and I answered. This lasted during the night, not at all what i was expecting. I figured he was on the juice as it was golf night. The next day i received a morning text from him, I didnt reply straight away but he kept texting until I replied. We texted all day and again through the night. I was actually in bed when I told him I was watching TV. I wasn’t but wanted to see if he would come around.
He came.
I was dressed in my favourite attire – my dressing gown and passion killer PJs.
It was actually quite late but he made the effort to come over so I offered him a beer. We chatted for ages and I cant recall ever watching the TV. I may have looked at the TV but I was nervous.
I moved closer to him. I’ve never made the first move EVER and I didnt know how this would be received. Hmmm he noticed but still nothing. I didnt know whether he felt the same thing. I knew he had slept with another person so I initially thought that i wasnt his type or was too ugly for him.
However I did know we were comfortable talking to each other. Time was getting on and he said he should get going. I actually was secretly gutted and thought it was now or never. He was by the door and I leaned in and kissed him.
Oh my fucking god, it wasnt returned. I had never felt such embarassment in my life.
He said “what are you doing”
I felt my face flush and sat on the couch. He came in and i asked him to leave. I asked him to leave a few times and he just stood there. My world got soooo small i wanted to crawl into a little hole and die.
He came over to me and tried to talk to me, thank fuck it was dark, my face was burning with embarrassment.
He came over to me and said are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into. I said I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t know what I was getting into. He stood me up, my face was looking at the ground. He lifted my chin and my eyes met his he leaned into me and kissed me. I returned the kiss, his lips were full and he kissed with passion. The feeling of rejection miles away but the thought of him just doing it to please me still lingered. We kissed for a while and his hands wandered through my body.
I knew my PJ’s were soaked from my juices flowing.
He knew what he was doing, his hands and lips touching and caressing every part of me. He fondled my nipples. I found it quite pleasurable considering i thought i had no sexual feeling in them anymore. He took me places i hadn’t felt in a while and he hadn’t even touched me there yet.
He pulled down my pants and felt the wetness, again I was embarrassed. My scent was strong. He spread my legs apart and through the matted bush he found my clit, his head went in exploring my sensitive bits. He was only there for a short period as I knew I was about to come and I needed him inside me….
I came…..
My body was sooooo sensitive that I couldn’t let him touch me. He probably thought I was weird. My body still convulsing, he is looking confused, he didn’t do anything wrong, he did everything right.
I calmed down and was able to clearly see his body, I wanted to touch all of him – I did…..
His body was beautiful, from his head down. He was circumsized as well. My hands ran down his body, he was hard. I fondled his nipples and he sighed, yusss I knew he had a sensitive spot. My hands went further down his body.
We were on the couch and he put his cock inside me. He was strong and gave me his all. I loved every stroke he gave me. I moved my body with his, enveloping his cock. He had already made me cum and my juices were still flowing. He picked me up and turned me around and took me from behind.
My initial thought was “he doesn’t want to see me when he cums” I don’t think that was the case. He held my hips as he was pumping in and out. His hand reaching around and fondling me. I was blown away and thankful the kids didn’t come into the lounge. Was pretty freakn risky but it only felt like we were the only ones around and nothing else mattered.
He lifted me up, turned me around and kissed me, he then held me. I loved the fact that he spread his legs wide so i didn’t have to stand on tippy toes to cuddle him. I found him to be quite sensitive to the detail that I like. We dressed and he left.
I had no idea what just happened but it felt good. I wondered if he would talk to me the next day……
The hardest part of hosting a great party is to get the party going. At most social gatherings, the guest a tendency to stand around, waiting for the host to make a move. If you are the host of the party, the best way to get people mingling and get the party going is to introduce a few icebreaker games. Games are especially great for newbies, as it helps to pull them out of their comfort zone and get them into the action, which normally results in them having a great night.
There are several sexy adult games you can play to kick-start your party. The most important thing is that you select games that will work well with the number of guests present at your party. If the group is large, card games may not be ideal as they can be slow and keep people out of action for too long. Not everyone will participate in the games, so for those who choose not to participate, the games you select must be entertaining for them to watch.
With those things in consideration, here are the top five most popular games used at swinger parties as icebreakers.
Truth or Dare
It worked in college, and it works for swingers as well. There is no better way to get people into action at a party, that’s why to this very day it’s number one on the list. To ensure this game goes off well, you have to change the way in which it’s traditionally played, and take away choice from the individuals. Instead of having people pick whether they want to take a truth or a dare, have everyone write one question and one dare on a piece of paper and put in in a bowl. Now shuffle your entries and pass the bowl around for each person to pick. This way you do not get people avoiding the dares and slowing down the action.
Spin The Bottle
We have all played this game once or twice in our lifetime. There are a million and one ways to play spin the bottle. You decide how powerful you want that bottle to be. My favourite way of playing spin the bottle is very simple. The bottle goes in the middle, one-person spin and whomever the bottle stops on, the person spinning gets to do whatever they want to that person. To ensure everyone is comfortable, as the host, you can set guidelines as to how far people can and cannot go. Share the rules of the game before you get started to make sure those involved are in agreement and you do not get anyone in any awkward situations.
Find Your Mate
This game is not only fun for those participating but can be very entertaining for those watching as well. Select a group of 5 to 10 brave couples and have them strip naked. Blindfold one of the ladies and have them feel a body part of the choice of all the guys to identify which one is their husband. Each person gets a turn. To extend the game even longer if it’s going well, you can give the guys a chance to be blindfolded as well.
Naked Twister
Though only a limited number of people can participate at any one time, this game is probably the most entertaining of them all. For this game, you will need to purchase the twister set. Get three couples and have them strip naked. Then let the fun begin!!
Couples Speed Dating
This is a great way to get people interacting with each other. For this game, you will need to prepare some forms with a list of questions. Questions for the males to ask the females and visa versa. Make sure you give each person a copy of the form to write down the correct answers for themselves before you get the game started. Once that is done, mix and match the couples and give them two minutes each to ask each other 10 very personal, preferably sexual questions. Once the time is up, give each person a chance to prove how much the memorized about the person they were paired with.
To make all of these games fun, I always include one thing. Alcohol!! The penalty for messing up, or opting out of something you do not feel like doing is taking a shot. After all, there is no better icebreaker than vodka or tequila.
Along with excessive amounts condoms and lube, another thing you will find in abundance at a swingers event is sex toys. Couples in the lifestyle are always pushing the boundaries of sexual limitation, and that is evident in the type of sex toys most swinger couples have stored in their secret bedroom drawer or basement dungeon. While the vanilla world is still excited about the handcuff and blindfolds they read about in “50 Shades Of Grey,” swingers have long graduated to way more exciting gadgets. Here are the top five most popular sex toys found at swinger parties.
5. Hitachi Wand
The Hitachi Wand also knew as the “Magic Wand” is the mother of all vibrators. Originally created by the 1960’s as a massager and a tool to release muscle tension, however, the ladies have found a better use for this tool. The device is over twelve inches long with a rubber head that is used by women for clitoral stimulation. It’s not uncommon to see the ladies using this toy to get each other off especially at private house parties.
4. Sex Swing
If you do not have one in your bedroom, get one now. Not sure how you will explain to the kids though. That’s for you to figure out. If you can’t have it at your home, you are almost certain to find one at your local swingers club. The sex swing is the ultimate tool if you are in the mood for some adventure and some hardcore fucking. There are a million and one positions you can get into on the swing and it comes with a manual that demonstrates most of these positions. Feel free to make up your own.
3. Double Ended Dildo
Girl Girl play is very sexy, especially when it includes the ladies pleasuring themselves and each other with a double-sided dildo. There are a lot of bi-sexual females in the swinging lifestyle, and this is one of the many toys the ladies like to share with each other in the playroom.
2. Strap-On
A Strap-On Dildo is the number one toy for the more dominant females. They use it of their girlfriends, and some, even on their male partners (we are all open-minded here. It’s fun to watch a female in a dominant role and nothing provides that pleasure more than a girl using a strap-on dildo.
1. Sybian
No ordinary sex toy comes with a price tag of well over one thousand dollars. The Sybian not only serves as a sex toy but also as an entertainment piece at many swinger events. Anything that can vibrate, rotate and thrust at the same time is bound to create a spectacle. With a base shaped like a saddle, the Sybian comes with multiple attachments, to provide female pleasure in dozens of ways. Whether you are in the mood for double penetration, a 6 or 12-inch dildo, the Sybian accommodates whatever you desire. This sex tool is controlled by a remote that you can operate for yourself, or if you wish to be more adventurous, you can give it to someone else and let him or her take control. When you are at a swinger’s party, you can normally tell which room has the Sybian, not only by the heavy vibrating sound but also by the number of people crammed in that one room to enjoy the show. Many women have had mind-blowing experience on the Sybian; others have tried it once and left it at that. Whatever the truth is, there is no doubt that the Sybian is the most popular sex toy at swinger’s events.
My new boyfriend—let’s call him John—and I were walking hand-in-hand from our hotel room at Hedonism II, the infamous clothing-optional, adults-only resort in Negril, Jamaica, to our first Tantric sex class. I whispered to him, “So, listen. It’s gonna be like a yoga class, but with no yoga and we might be doing sex sh*t in front of others. Cool?”
“Wait…what?” he said, horror crossing over his face, but clearly trying to remain cool, calm, and collected as we smiled at the other hotel guests passing by.
“Don’t worry. Everyone’s focused on their own partner. No one will be looking at you,” I tried to assure him.
“Yep.”
It was a brave move to bring my boyfriend of just three and a half months on a trip to Hedo, as those in the know call it.
For one, I’m not that comfortable walking around naked. From the bed to the bathroom is fine. But it’s not like I make a habit of just hanging out and cooking breakfast without a stitch of clothing.
The thing is, we were booked on the Nude side of the resort, where you have to go naked, as opposed to the Prude side, which is clothing optional. Hedo is known for its swingers’ parties, so we basically thought it would be one big orgy (which frankly kind of frightened me).
Even though Hedonism II wasn’t exactly what we anticipated, we learned a lot. Here, a few of the biggest lessons we took home.
As we stood nude on our suite deck about to step out into the world of Hedo for the first time, I turned to John and said, “Oh my God. My vagina is out. I can’t do this.” He handed me the bottle of champagne. I chugged. Then he took my hand and escorted me to the poolside bar on the Nude side. We giggled a bit with excitement, and the sense that we were in it together instantly made me feel closer to him.
The guests at the beach, pool, and bar areas represented every shape, size, and age. People with completely normal bodies seemed to feel more comfortable in their skin than I did, which made me loosen up a bit and not worry about that little scar on my left hip that I obsess over.
Before I knew it, I was running down the beach naked, letting a stranger draw on my bare breasts with body paint. Exhilarated, I actually mounted John on a beach chair in the daylight for a little afternoon delight as another guest snuck a stare. We seemed to be the only couple having sex in public, with the exception of a few blow jobs by the pool. One big poolside orgy it was not.
It turns out growling like a tiger can enhance your orgasm.
The main takeaway from our first Tantric couples’ workshop was that some sex moves can help me experience a better orgasm—and help my partner last longer—without changing positions or involving fancy toys. This we learned from Kim and Brad Walker of Houston-based Tantric Hearts, who have been teaching at Hedonism II for 17 years.
Much like with yoga, a huge part of Tantra is connecting your breath with your movement. When we were having sex after the class, I instructed John to do the “breath of fire” we learned in class, aka breathe quickly through his nose from his navel. Doing so immediately slowed his orgasmic roll, allowing him to flip me over on top of him.
As we were about to orgasm, I literally looked at my notes from class to remember the next breathing technique. “Growl. Tiger. Loud. Mouth,” my notes said. Bad note-taking aside, it was the push we needed to make an intense growling tiger sound out of our mouths as we started to orgasm. The point is to tap into the primal, animalistic nature of sex.
It felt silly, but the sound of the growl vibrated through my torso, giving me this delicious, humming buzz, as if the orgasmic energy were spreading through my body via the vibrations. It made my orgasm feel stronger, bigger, and longer.
Earlier in class, Brad said that if we did this correctly, “the neighbors should be jealous.” Maybe even “a little scared,” Kim added. Mission accomplished! As we exited our room an hour later, we got a little nod and a wink from a couple passing by.
Taking the time to explore helped us discover secret erogenous zones.
The “Drive Your Partner Wild With Desire” class focused on the Tantra principle of using all five senses (i.e., sight, touch, smell, taste, and sound) to awaken your sexuality and increase your pleasure. “These are the five keys to bigger and better orgasms,” Kim told the class.
Our instructors provided us with a silk tie that John would blindfold me with (for sight deprivation, which really does help to heighten your other four senses), a shot of rum along with a tray with cheese, fruit, and chocolate (for taste), and a peacock feather and another silk tie (for touch). We didn’t need anything tangible for the smell and sound portions.
As I lay blindfolded on my yoga mat with my trusty boyfriend kneeling over me (trying to ignore the fact that there were about 20 other couples in the room just inches from either side of me), a chill of anticipation rushed through my body, like the nerves you feel before you have sex with your partner for the first time.
First came the feather, which John traced slowly and gently alongside my half-naked body. It felt good, but it was nothing new. But then he slowly dripped juice from a piece of cantaloupe on to the middle part of my lips. The cold, gentle drops made not just my lips, but my whole body tingle. I couldn’t imagine that there was a part of my body I didn’t know could bring me pleasure, but here I was feeling a physical awakening from a few drops of cold liquid on my lips.
John traced the outline of my lips with a piece of the fruit, heightening the sensation and getting me extremely turned on. He leaned down and, with his mouth full of rum, dripped the liquid into my mouth from his like a mama bird feeding her baby.
It wasn’t cliché at all. In fact, it was pretty damn hot. Until the “sound” portion of the exercise.
For this part, John was supposed to breathe audibly on my neck or say sexy things in my ear. Still straddling me while I lay on my back, he started with heavy, loud breathing on my neck, which sent shivers down my spine. As he slowly moved his way up to whisper those sweet nothings, my darling boyfriend accidentally let out a loud, rum-filled burp right in my ear.
Unexpected lesson from this class: Kegel exercises really work, because even though I laughed so hard I thought I might pee, I was able to stop what could’ve been a tidal wave of urine from hitting the couple’s mat next to us. But in all seriousness, it’s nice to know something like a little burp during what should’ve been a sexy moment didn’t ruin our good time.
Even when you’re exploring, you’ve got to respect each other’s limits—and your own.
I’ve always prided myself on my hand-job skills, but Kim and Brad taught me a few new tricks. Sixteen of them, in fact. At the “Snake Charming” class, we learned penis-massage techniques I never even knew existed.
Like any good student, I was prepared for class with a towel and an intimate cleansing cloth. Little did we know that we’d need one more Snake Charming accoutrement: a rubber glove that left us mystified until we realized it was for a prostate massage where you insert a finger or two into your partner’s anus and gently circle it around to massage his prostate from the inside. The dread on John’s face spoke volumes, and we skipped that part of the instruction.
Our cue to leave was when the cacophony of orgasmic sounds filled the room. I tried to be mature, but it’s hard not to laugh when you hear a group of people loudly climaxing over the slapping sounds of skin on skin. Without saying a word to each other, we quickly ducked out of the class. We were adventuresome lovers now, but there’s a limit. We walked across the sprawling tropical environs…and I finished John off in in the privacy of our own room.
At the centre of the swinging community are the swingers’ parties. Whether it’s a private swingers club, a hotel take-over or a house party, swinger couples look forward to the weekends where they can attend one of these events, to meet new couples or get together with their regular lifestyle friends. Whether you are a newbie or an experienced couple in the swinging lifestyle, there are some critical unwritten rules you are expected to follow when you are a privileged guest at anyone of these events.
Though these are not written rules, not following them could lead to you not being welcomed or invited back to other events.
Here are the most important rules and etiquette you need to follow when at a swingers’ party.
1. Be Friendly and courteous.
The number one way to “not get laid” in any situation, especially in the swinging lifestyle is to be a total anti-social asshole. You will find that you make friends with way more couples by simply smiling, saying hello and engaging in conversations. If someone offers you something you are not interested in, no need to be rude, a simple “No Thank You” will do.
2. No Means No
You will hear this over and over again. When a person or a couple say “No Thank You” they really mean it and it’s time for you to back off. Harassment will not be tolerated, and by disregarding this rule, you are asking for a one-way ticket out of every single lifestyle event. Be respectful of others and their preferences. Do not take personal offence. No simply means “NO”.
3. Ask First
It’s easy to fall into the trap of the misguided notion that it is a free for all and you could just touch whatever you see without asking. It’s actually quite the opposite. 1) You might get punched in the face 2) It’s very rude and not accepted. Unless permission was given, if you see something you like, ask first before you touch. You can first start by paying a compliment, then asking nicely if you may touch or, have a dance with someone that does not belong to you. Whatever it is you want to do with another couple, start by asking first.
4. Respect The Boundaries Of Others
Everyone has the right to be where he or she is at in the swinging lifestyle. There is no minimum of maximum level of participation requirements. Every couple has their own preferences, and others should respect those preferences. Do not force anyone to like the things that you like, as well as you should not judge others for what they are into. The most beautiful thing about the lifestyle community is it provides a safe place for those looking to exploring their fantasies and sexuality, without pressure or judgment. Allow others to truly enjoy that freedom.
5. No Drama
It’s not very often, but it’s quite normal for couples to have disagreements while at a party. This is mostly due to lack of communication. It’s ok. It happens. This, however, does not mean you get to ruin the night of everyone else by arguing or fighting where everyone else can see or hear you. Take your drama home, or to the car. If you can’t work out your drama, it’s best to stay home until you are ready to communicate properly and be a part of the lifestyle community.
6. Dress to get laid
When we talk about dressing, it’s not just about what you are wearing. It’s everything from attire to the way you groom yourself. If you are going to venture into the swinging lifestyle, consider that you have you may have to go back to the days when you were single and cared about how you look, when you were trying to get laid or meet someone. You are not an insurance sales guy so no need to come dressed in a suit and tie. For the guys, a nice collared shirt, nice jeans and a nice pair of designer shoes will do. Don’t forget a fresh haircut, shower and shave your private parts. Ladies, this is your opportunity to bring out you inner sexy. The ladies are the centre of attention, so you want to dress the part. Sexy lingerie, club dresses, costumes, whatever you please, as long as you make sure it compliments your body very well.
Lifestyle events are fun, and everyone is normally very respectful. The level of respect and fun you find at swingers parties, you will be hard to find the same at your regular vanilla bar. That is because most lifestyle couples and singles know and follow these unspoken rules, which leads to a good time for all.
The longer you are in a relationship, the more boring the conversations tend to get. This does not mean that you love your partner any less, it just means that after a while, you will inevitably run out of fun spicy things to talk about. Unless you are a swinging couple. Swingers get to have the type of conversations a vanilla couple can only dream about and pray they do not say them out loud in their sleep otherwise somebody will be sleeping on the couch. If you are a vanilla couple reading this blog, here are 20 questions swinger couples get to ask each other that you probably can never ask your partner.
1. Would you like to fuck her?
2. Would you like to fuck him?
3. Did you see her ass?
4. Babe, did you pack condoms?
5. Did you enjoy him fucking you?
6. Did you enjoy fucking her?
7. Can I fuck your best friend?
8. That’s a sexy couple do you think we can fuck them?
9. Did he make you cum?
10. Are we going out this weekend, should I shave?
11. Do you think we will get lucky tonight?
12. Do you want to drop the kids at grandma’s this weekend and have an orgy party?
13. Did you pack your strap-on?
14. Can my boy-toy come over tonight?
15. Do you think they know we are swingers?
16. Which bondage outfit should I wear?
17. Or which dress shows off my boobs more?
18. Is this outfit sexy enough?
19. Did you enjoy kissing her?
20. Who were you thinking of while I was fucking you last night?
At the centre of the swinging community are the swingers’ parties. Whether it’s a private swingers club, a hotel take-over or a house party, swinger couples look forward to the weekends where they can attend one of these events, to meet new couples or get together with their regular lifestyle friends. Whether you are a newbie or an experienced couple in the swinging lifestyle, there are some very important unwritten rules you are expected to follow when you are a privileged guest at any one of these events.
Though these are not written rules, not following them could lead to you not being welcomed or invited back to other events.
Here are the most important rules and etiquette you need to follow when at a swingers’ party.
1. Be Friendly and courteous.
The number one way to “not get laid” in any situation, especially in the swinging lifestyle is to be a total anti-social asshole. You will find that you make friends with way more couples by simply smiling, saying hello and engaging in conversations. If someone offers you something you are not interested in, no need to be rude, a simple “No Thank You” will do.
2. No Means No
You will hear this over and over again. When a person or a couple say “No Thank You” they really mean it and it’s time for you to back off. Harassment will not be tolerated, and by disregarding this rule, you are asking for a one-way ticket out of every single lifestyle event. Be respectful of others and their preferences. Do not take personal offence. No simply means “NO”.
3. Ask First
It’s easy to fall into the trap of the misguided notion that it is a “Free-for-all” and you could just touch whatever you see without asking. It’s actually quite the opposite. 1) You might get punched in the face 2) It’s vulgar and not accepted. Unless permission was given, if you see something you like, ask first before you touch. You can first start by paying a compliment, then asking nicely if you may touch or, have a dance with someone that does not belong to you. Whatever it is you want to do with another couple, start by asking first.
4. Respect The Boundaries Of Others
Everyone has the right to be where he or she is at in the swinging lifestyle. There is no minimum or maximum level of participation requirements. Every couple has their own preferences, and others should respect those preferences. Do not force anyone to like the things that you like, as well as you should not judge others for what they are into. The most beautiful thing about the lifestyle community is it provides a safe place for those looking to exploring their fantasies and sexuality, without pressure or judgment. Allow others to truly enjoy that freedom.
5. No Drama
It’s not very often, but it’s quite normal for couples to have disagreements while at a party. This is mostly due to lack of communication. It’s ok. It happens. This, however, does not mean you get to ruin the night for everyone else by arguing or fighting where everyone else can see or hear you. Take your drama home, or to the car. If you can’t work out your drama, it’s best to stay home until you are ready to communicate properly and be a part of the lifestyle community.
6. Dress to get laid
When we talk about dressing, it’s not just about what you are wearing. It’s everything from attire to the way you groom yourself. If you are going to venture into the swinging lifestyle, consider that you have you may have to go back to the days when you were single and cared about how you look, when you were trying to get laid or meet someone. You are not an insurance sales guy so no need to come dressed in a suit and tie. For the guys, a nice collared shirt, nice jeans and a nice pair of designer shoes will do. Don’t forget a fresh haircut, shower and shave your private parts. Ladies, this is your opportunity to bring out your inner sexy. The ladies are the centre of attention, so you want to dress the part. Sexy lingerie, club dresses, costumes, whatever you please, as long as you make sure it compliments your body very well.
Lifestyle events are fun, and everyone is usually very respectful. The level of respect and fun you find at swingers parties, you will be hard to find the same at your regular vanilla bar. That is because most lifestyle couples and singles know and follow these unspoken rules, which leads to a good time for all.
